We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
