ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize