And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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