I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think people are normalizing furries
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
