her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
