I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
