Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
