His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
