at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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