so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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