nut hugger
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I AM VODKA MAN
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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