Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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