Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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