You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
