how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
