I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Your cock deserves a montage
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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