If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
