Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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