bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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