kristin has been a bad kristin
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
