Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
