He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
