nut hugger
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
