You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
