I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
