That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
