Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
