Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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