I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize