Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
