No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
