yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
