i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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