I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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