why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
