As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize