Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
