yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
