So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
