jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
