NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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