i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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