I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
