I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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