So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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