She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
