love makes seman taste better
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
