I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
