Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
