Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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