At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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