WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
