there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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