he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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