I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
