I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
