Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
